More things homemade..

I found a blog recently that I love. As I was reading through some of the archives I found this recipe for laundry soap. It is super easy, cheap and works wonderfully. I wanted to share it. I found many other inspiring projects while I was there so look around a bit.



For those of you who know me and know my cat Smokey, I thought you would appreciate this pic of him and his typical annoyed expression. I wasn't giving him nearly enough attention I guess.

Weekend loveliness.

On their way out but still beautiful.

Growing big and strong.

Yumminess!

Flower gorgeousness!

One of my many constant companions.


I'm finally getting my sewing area up and running.

Creating community.

I have been reading a bunch of stuff this morning about the "New Earth" and all the planetary shifts going on right now. There is a huge amount to say about this topic but I am going to stick to the community part of it. In American culture and a lot of other cultures around the world there is a lot of separation.

My mind drifts to the story of the Lost Boys of Sudan, a large group of boys that were uprooted from their homes because of fighting between the Muslims and Catholics in Sudan. (that is a way oversimplification of a very complicated issue but I will leave it at that) The first time I heard about this was probably sometime around 1991. I was in High School. My family lived in Europe and I went to school at an international school on a Nato base in Belgium. We were visiting an Irish priest we knew who was a chaplain in the American Army. He lived in Holland at that time. He had 2 other visitors on this trip, a German priest and a teenage boy from Sudan that the priest was helping. My brother and I spent most of the night talking with this boy. He told us about his life and how he ended up in Germany. He talked about the separation and loneliness that came with Western culture. It was something he had not known as a boy living in the refuge camps with hundreds of others like him. I have read of this over and over again when reading about the Lost Boys experiences in the United States and in Western Europe.

I often think about the huge houses that many Americans live in and how each child has their own room from the time they are a newborn. I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would want to live in a 5000 square foot home and that is considered small by many. The cleaning alone would do me in. I think about how many people I know who are on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. I totally think that they serve an important purpose and am not criticizing anyone for being on them but I think a lot of the depression and anxiety comes from all the separation that we feel, not to mention the foods that people put in their mouths, but that is for another time. There is so much focus on how much stuff we have and not who we are. Some people are depressed and anxious by falling into this trap and others are depressed and anxious because they can't to survive in a world that works like this.

That is changing. I can see it and I can feel it. I envision a future for myself and many others where we feel supported by each other and the Universe as a whole. I see a future where people are a lot happier and more fulfilled with their lives. The key to this is to cultivate the positive relationships in our lives and seek new, beautiful, supportive ones, get "quiet" enough to let your spirit speak to you about what is really important to you and then find a way to do it. We all make things way too difficult and separate ourselves when we do not need to be. It is all about community and love. I really believe that if we can work together and support each other, we will help create all the shifts needed to make this world beautiful beyond belief.

So many beautiful places.

Sometimes I like to daydream about all the amazing places I could live. I miss the high desert of New Mexico. That area holds an intense spiritual energy that really fills my soul in so many ways. There are also a ton of people there that are a lot like me and that would be nice. I miss Southern California and it's gorgeous weather and beauty. I am just not sure that the overall values of the area gel that much with mine. Part of me would love to explore farther up the West Coast like Northern California, Oregon and Washington. I was born just across the river from Portland in Vancouver, Washington so maybe the Pacific Northwest is in my blood. I am not sure I could handle the rain though. I love the sun!!! Sometimes I think that Canada would be nice. I am not sure how easy it would be for me to move there but I am amused by the accents and it is such a peaceful country when compared with the US. Hmm, then again how about somewhere in Central America or the Caribbean, I love the beach, warmth and a really laid back lifestyle.

Boy there are a lot of choices!! What are some of your favorite places?

Update: Oops, I forgot about Colorado and the Boulder, Denver, Longmont area. I know the most amazing people there and miss one of my friends dearly but I had so much trouble with the elevation and the cold weather. The values of the area do combine pretty well with mine though. Where oh where will I ever end up?

Oh how I miss....

the ocean and the beach. These were taken in Del Mar, California. I can be having the worst day and a walk on the beach will always make me feel better. I miss it there so much!! Going to the beach on the East Coast only makes me miss the west more. Maybe it is because I was born in Washington. There is seriously an ache in my heart when I look at these pictures.

My Altar.

Here are some of my favorite things that I currently keep on my altar. It is not all styled perfectly but everything is where it feels like it needs to be. Sometimes the spirit part overtakes where I actually think that something may look prettier. The wooden Ganesh and stone Buddha were brought back from India by my amazing friend Megan. The pottery is made by my mother. I got the rattle from one of my shamanic teachers. It is from Peru. The feathers are from my friend Christia. The stones, or my medicine mesa, are mostly from my childhood rock collection. They are from the Black Hills of South Dakota. The blue cloth is from one of my acupuncture school teachers who first taught me how to do a shamanic journey. The wooden insense holder is from someone who was very important to me for many years. There are also a couple of things given to me by past patients that can not be seen very well in pictures as well as a small bag from Peru given to me by my other shamanic teacher.

Do you have anywhere that you keep things important to you? What are they?

Questions on love, fear and moving forward.

I think that there are a lot of people who wouldn't see me as a fearful person but really I have been in many ways. I am brave in certain ways. I think nothing of moving across the country by myself. I have driven back and forth across the US a couple of times all alone. I have taken a path is is not necessarily the norm. I think that a big part of the fear is in admitting what I really want out of life. I put a lot of focus on my work. I spent all of my 20's in college. I pushed away certain healthier relationships because I didn't want to be distracted from my school work. I ran away and focused on school because I felt that I really couldn't trust anyone but myself. Maybe that has been my experience in much of my life but that doesn't mean that it has to be my experience for the rest of my life.

The funny thing is that I am a relationship type of person. I like being around other people. I am very loving. I am good at compromise. I really believe that life is about love and our relationships with those around us. Oddly, although I know these things in my heart, I often allowed myself to lead with my head which told me that depending on other people isn't safe.

I am realizing and admitting so many things about myself lately. I am super passionate about certain things like writing, teaching about food, health, balance and related things, studying and practicing shamanism, and doing creative projects. I also love working from home. I love cooking and taking care of those I love. I love children and animals. I don't really care that much about making tons of money, being well known and advancing in my career. I do care about being in an an amazing relationship and being surrounded by friends, love, family and children. I am not sure how to get to some of these points. I am meeting less men now than ever in my life. I have a really hard time with the energy in NY and just want to return somewhere in the western US, although I am not sure exactly where. If I continue to focus on making more money so I can afford to move is that only continuing with my dysfunctional habit of only focusing on work? Those are questions I am marinating in these days.

Balance and chocolate cake.

This morning for breakfast I had a lovely piece of chocolate cake. It was pretty small, organic, vegan and I had it with a huge glass of water but it was still cake for breakfast. This is quite a bit different from my typical morning. It is not uncommon for me to have lentil soup or even leafy greens to start off my day. But hey if life is partially about having balance than cake for breakfast on occasion may actually be helpful. I remember one of my teachers in acupuncture school would occasionally venture to Blakes in Albuquerque for a quick burger and fries before clinic. He said his teacher told him that it was homeopathic. I always liked that. Ah, how I do miss NM but that is for another post.

Maybe I woke up this morning thinking about finding more of a balance in my life. Yesterday in my healing/mentoring session with the shaman I work with, we worked on some big stuff. Well big but small at the same time. I have moved out such huge stuff lately that all this work is like doing the final sweeping of the old house before moving on to a new house. I had a hard time figuring out how to word that but hopefully it makes some sense. I also got more of a grasp on my issues with acupuncture lately. I took more of a leap into being really honest about what I want in my life. I was able to see more clearly how much I categorize things as a way to make sense of this crazy life and am limited by that categorization. All of this work is amazing and exhausting. I feel like a true spiritual warrior that needed a little cake refill. :)

So what do these changes and realizations mean in a more practical sense? Yep, I am working on that. I need to start putting more focus on my personal life. I don't want the entire focus of my life to be work but work has been my entire focus and that isn't making me happy. Although I don't expect to have heard back from a publisher yet about my kid's book, I am thinking that maybe no matter what I want to publish it and market it on my own. I have some amazing ideas for it that really feel right to me. I am getting back to working with my hands.....sewing, knitting, and being creative. I am still cooking and learning about food and on and on and on. So many many things.

What do I need in my life?

LOVE, ART, CREATIVITY, CURIOSITY, GROWTH, MAGIC, MIRACLES, BRAVERY, OPENNESS, CONNECTION, PEACE


What are some things that you would like in your life? I would love to hear!!

Inspiration.

I feel like I am on the verge of so many changes. It is such a weird place to be. It takes great patience. Last night I had a couple of ideas that feel really good, really solid. Lets see what happens.

Some things I find beautiful.

Today I feel a bit crappy. My head is pounding and I do not know why. It doesn't happen often. Here are some things that cheered me up.

Yay! The Garden!

I am so happy that the garden is doing so well this year. Last year it was so wet that basically everything drowned.

Please pardon the mess.

I am trying to make my blog a little more me. It may take me a little while to get to look like what I want it to. I lose my patience after about 20 min of working on it so I have to keep stepping away. It is going to look wonderful when I am done so stay tuned for my fabulous updated blog!

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.— Carlos Castaneda

Once

Once I thought skunks were kinda cute. I don't anymore. Once Miles liked to chase skunks. After burning eye pain and three baths, I am hoping he no longer likes to chase them. Now Miles is depressed and because I decided that as long as Miles was getting bathed that Sadie might as well also, Sadie is depressed too.

This is why people think I must use drugs.

I took a nap today because I got woken up way earlier than I had planned and I was exhausted. As I was starting to wake up I heard the beep of my cell phone telling me I was receiving text messages. I picked up my phone to look. A friend sent me pics of her very beautiful new paintings. She then called me on the phone to see how I liked them. At one point in the conversation, she said I was being quiet and asked what I was thinking. It went something like this, "Hmm, I am not sure. There were not words attached to it. Wait, I wonder if that is normal. Is that a change or have I always thought without words. It was just pictures. Hmm, I wonder." The response from my friend was, "and you're not on drugs?" I get that a lot.

I'm feeling a little guilty...

for mentioning the dogs but not the kitties. I have a soft spot for animals. I take in strays a bit more than I should. If I had more money or stability in my life I probably would have taken in foster kids also. Its so hard for me to deal with any living creature being alone and lonely. So here is my little bunch of kitties. I love them but I do get a bit overwhelmed by the fur and the litter. I do an awful lot of cleaning and somehow things still often look messy. Oh well, is having a spotless house really that important?