Travel and forward motion.

I have been feeling the need to travel lately. I have some amazing ideas as to how to do this. I am more excited about my ideas than about anything over the last few years. There seems to be some interesting energy in the air lately that has really been helping people move forward. It is amazing but everyone that I talk to has been having a lot of aha moments and finally making much needed changes in their lives. It all goes to show that when we all breathe deeply and connect to our spirits we can hear the voices guiding us forward. They begin as the softest of whispers and get louder and louder as we learn how to tune into them. Ah, this world and this life are truly amazing!

Long road.

One of the ones I like to hang out with when I am feeling a bit reclusive.


I know I haven't been here much. There has been a lot going on. As soon as I think I know what way I am going something changes. I feel weird putting too much of that stuff out here. Not that many people read it probably... I am dealing with the loss of my cat Smokey. I know he is around but I can't pet and an snuggle with him so that still makes me sad. I am trying to feel where my next move is. It will be here soon. For now I just breathe and I will know that next step when the time is right. For now journaling for myself feels better but that may very well change.

xoxo

Magic.

I seems that simultaneously there is nothing going on and and there is everything. Maybe a little explanation would be helpful? My plans to be in Georgia for a big chunk this summer have fallen through, or at least at this point they have. With one cat sick with cancer and now another with possible cystitis and months before I can actually reinstate my GA acupuncture license, I am stuck for awhile. Ugh, NY...sometimes I feel that if I don't get out of here that I will lose my mind. It is so aggressive. I want to feel totally comfortable going out and being social but around here almost anything is just too overwhelming for me.

Sometimes I feel as if I am stuck in quicksand. The more I struggle the more it pulls me under. I try to give up the struggle and hopefully free myself from the things that have been holding me back. I wonder if it is not time for me to move forward in the way I thought that I would. I feel like there is magic waiting right under the surface just waiting for something....what that is I do not know. Sometimes I feel like I just need to breathe and let something go and the magic will be right there. I will find out that it has been there all the time and I just haven't seen it. Maybe it's that way with us all. We have been so busy with the struggle that we have all been adapting to over many many years that we can't see all the beauty that is there. Maybe all we really have to do is breathe and to love and to feel the magic that is there for us all.

xoxo

Ugh.

That's the only title I can come up with. It's been one thing after another in the past week. Today I found out my 12 year old cat has cancer. The energy healings are going to be multiplied but I am not putting him through anything painful. For now he is eating and wants attention but he has lost a ton of weight. It's a sad day.

Procrastination.

I may already have a post with the same name. I am too lazy to look back. I have been putting off studying for the Chinese herbal national exam to upgrade my national licensure from Acupuncture to Oriental Medicine. Now I really have to do it so I am studying like crazy. I take the test in 6 days. I have a cat free zone on my study table. It composes just of the book and the paper I am writing one. They don't listen and are constantly invading. Smokey and Benny are the worst offenders.

Loves.....

Love this and pretty much everything she makes, like this....these.

I adore bloomers but not sure I wouldn't feel ridiculous wearing them. Check out and these., these

Hmm, how about these. Noticing a theme here?

I also love these but not so sure I wouldn't feel ridiculous. Hmm, another theme. :)

This company is amazing.....yarns, patterns and all.

I bought some fabric from them. I bought their posh pants a few months ago. They don't fit me perfectly. The rise feels a little low or maybe they are a little big in the waist but they just feel like they are going to fall down. So many people love them and I feel awful that I do not. They are a great company though and their material is wonderful. I think I will try their skirts because rise is not so important.

So anyway, I am getting inspiration and then will make up my own pants pattern to use with my fabric. I also have some organic cotton that I am going to use to make a wrap skirt. Yep, I like clothes that I can bust into a warrior or down dog in a second. I hate jeans and anything tight. i guess it's good that I'm a yoga teacher. :)

Wisdom

Arjun, at the end of the world,
all living things get lost in Me
and then at the beginning of the word
everything is born again.
Nature begins again and the world becomes alive.

A great wheel makes the wrld turn round
and round
and it makes the world get lost in God
and get born again.

The world disappears and reappears like this
many times
because I want it to.

--Bhagavad Gita

Back to the world.

I've been on a bit of a retreat from the world. I was going through a time that nothing seemed to work out. I was broke, hating my work and basically had no idea what kind of acupuncture practice I wanted or how to financially survive while building one. I moved to my mom's house and have been doing a lot of random stuff since I have been here. Some of it, I have talked about on this blog. It's time to move on. I have more of a vision now about how I want to blend acupuncture, yoga, shamanism and nutrition. I know deep down that it is all going to work out. I trust that everything will unfold easily and without struggle or doubt. Hmm, I believe that trust is my word for 2011. Look at me I am actually trusting, yay!!

One shift that has led to this was my realization about how important it is for us to use our gifts out in the world to help others. I know that I am good at what I do so really why have I barely been doing it? I feel like when I or anyone else spends time feeling bad about ourselves that we are basically giving the big middle finger to God, the Universe or whatever you want to call it. We were all given this amazing life and an amazing body so we need to feel grateful and put ourselves out there to try to make the Earth a better place. I need to get off my ass and use what I was given.

Here's to a newfound feeling of purpose and gratefulness for all the beautiful gifts we were given.

xoxo, Sara

Plans to hit the road!!

I am making some very exciting plans to do a bit of a working road trip starting sometime in May or June. I am heading south. I will be doing some acupuncture, private yoga instruction, cooking and food prep and education, and basically helping some people make some healthier shifts in their lives. I am super excited! This is what I really want to do. I want to help people with the roots of illness not treating the illness only. More info to come but I have some big plans.
xoxo

Kripalu: That's a lot of people..

I guess I should write a little about Kripalu. I am having a bit of a problem though.....I don't feel like putting it into words. Not a good thing for someone trying to keep a blog going or someone who psychic after psychic after astrologer (yeah I run into a lot of them in my life) say is going to do a lot of her work from writing and teaching people. Anyhoo, I will try.

We started off with 65 people but ended with 62. It was intense. The days were long. We did hours and hours of yoga everyday. I didn't sleep nearly enough. It feels like I have undone the many years of trying to build myself up after years of starving myself and over exercising. I am wiped out. My pulses are no longer palpable just the way they were when I started acupuncture school. I am hoping that after a couple weeks of rest that improves. I learned a lot about myself. I realized how much work I have done. I know I couldn't have survived it even a year ago. I learned that while for many it may have been about finding their edge and pushing their bodies it could not be for me. That had to be part of the equation for me but really it was about letting the ego go, about modifying and taking it easier on my body then I really had to. I know how to push an edge. I know how to push my body to the place of complete collapse and almost death. I had to learn how to not take myself to that edge or maybe to take myself there and not past it. Kripalu means compassion and my intention at this yoga teacher training was about finding compassion for myself. I found a little bit of that. More compassion than ever before so that's a victory.

The people at Kripalu were amazing, as were the teachers. That was my favorite part. Such beautiful people all making their way through life as best they can. The love in the air was palpable. I will never forget many of them. To feel so comfortable with so many people after only a month of knowing them, is amazing. It says a lot about Kripalu and the way that they set up the YTT.

Now is the time for me to figure out what's next. I don't know at this point. Hopefully I will know soon. For now I am recovering, sleeping, cooking, snuggling with my animals, working and still doing yoga. Ah yoga, I love you so.

Home from Kripalu..

(I found these few pics on my computer. I was in 3 different rooms while at Kripalu. One was a dorm and then 2 were shared rooms. The shared rooms were both with the same roommate but we had to move. Oh well.)

Seriously the longest and shortest month of my entire life. I have so much to say but not sure what that is yet. I will be back with more info. I need to figure my life out. Where to move? At least I know more now about what I want my work life to be life. I am actually thinking about MIami for a variety of reasons. I just think it could be a little intense for me. We will see. I will be back very soon!

love to you all!!!!!

Kripalu

I will add some pics soon but wanted to do a little update. At this point I honestly wish I hadn't come but I know I am supposed to be here. There a couple major snorers in my dorm room so I didn't sleep at all. Everything always feels so much worse when you haven't slept. I am sure things will feel a lot better in a couple days. I am praying for that. Wish I had something more positive to report but I am being real.

xoxo

Being present.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. My yoga and meditation practices have greatly helped me to actually be able to do this. I started meditating almost 10 years ago. It has been a daily practice this entire time. That is so amazing to think about. I am still a daydreamer but I notice every day how much more aware I become to all that is going on around me. While driving I do not mindlessly turn the wrong way because that is the way I most often go. I used to do that all the time. I am aware of how I am feeling and really allow myself to feel it. Some really horrible, yucky, icky, awful stuff has been coming up for me lately but I am able to be present with it and not try to escape. I know it will pass. It takes a lot of work to get the point where we can be more present in our lives for both ourselves and those around us. The only advice, if you even care, that I can give is to take a few quiet moments for yourself everyday. Roll out a mat or simply sit however you are comfortable and breath. A daily yoga and/ or meditation practice will change your life. If you only have a few minutes, that's ok. It is one of the most important things you can do. Yep, I really want to teach this stuff. It's AMAZING!!

xoxo

Oddly...

It's not nearly as cold here as it could be. This morning it was 12 degrees when I woke up. I am not complaining about the cold though because it is keeping the snow south of here. Thank goodness!! Maybe it's the weather but I have been in a bit of a funk the past few days. Some really deep stuff is coming up for me. Most of it is body image issues and it is pretty miserable. I am hoping it the last of some stuff I have been dealing with for years and that it will be gone soon. It has me not looking forward to my yoga teacher training. It had better leave soon. I will just keep doing my yoga practice and hope that pushes it out. I have been working on a much longer post about all of this but I am just not ready to put it all out there.

Enough already!

I am so tired of the weather here. There has been snow on the ground for months. There is now a coating of ice covering the snow. The dogs slip and fall down repeatedly. They need some yak traks just like mine.

Yep, I got my camera working again!!

I have a little bit of catching up to do. First, some Thanksgiving pics. I had to go to NH for a job interview on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I ended up turning the job down. It just didn't feel right. My mother and the dogs ended up tagging along. Here they are. Oh, and what a fancy Thanksgiving we had.





This winter has been HORRIBLE in the NE. It is reminding me how I need to not be here for another winter. I am not a cold weather person. I do not find anything redeeming about snow. I don't even want to leave the house. Look at what I would have to get past just to get out the front door. YUCK!!





Can you guess how I am spending my time these days?

Hello Megan...

Yeah, you! For anyone else reading bear with me. I tried my very best to get my camera working so I can take some pics. The battery doesn't charge at all at this point. I really will go get a new battery sometime soon. I agree that my blog will be much better when I can add pics again one day.

xoxo

Trust and the power of yoga.

Everyday as I lower my body onto my mat and try to quiet my mind I am again reminded of how powerful the practice of yoga is. I notice how much it is helping me to clear things my body has long held onto. Things that no amount of acupuncture, massage, therapy, shamanic work and numerous other things have been able to totally clear. I notice how much is held in my hips and lower back. It holds things like fear, distrust and unworthiness. Things that I am ready to let go. It is such an amazing, powerful practice and I am so grateful for it and so excited about my teacher training starting next month.

Gifts...

Sometimes gifts come from the most surprising places. I feel so blessed to have spent the last couple years really processing all my "stuff". I have been able to really see where some of my issues have come from. So many of them aren't mine. They come from my parents and their parents and on and on. I am able to see what isn't mine, what isn't important to me, and who I do not want to be. I only need to be myself and because of all this work I now know even more about who I am. Who cares what anyone else thinks. A little perspective is such a huge gift. Thank you!

Exhausted...

Yep, that's me I am totally wiped out. I am not entirely sure why. Maybe some of it came from dealing with family over the holidays. It takes a lot of energy to protect myself from all the emotional terrain of those around me. I was trying to save money and not order new vitamins. I guess I really do need them to keep me going. Maybe some of the fatigue comes from all the releasing I am doing from yet another increase in yoga. I am so nervous about not being well enough prepared for yoga teacher training or from injuring myself by increasing too fast that I now do 2 hours of yoga a day. Every night my body aches. It isn't typical sore muscles. It's more like that achy feeling that you get from the flu but I do not have the flu. I am merely clearing a whole new level of "stuff" my body is holding.
So for today along with my yoga and my studying Chinese herbs I will sit on the couch, watching the food network and crocheting a baby blanket. That sounds lovely. I better go get a bowl of soup and a cup of tea to go along with that. Yes, that will be just wonderful!! I know that my life is going to get a whole lot busier after I return from Kripalu so for now I will be grateful for the lighter work load and the free time it leaves.

xoxo

Krishna Das - Om Namo Bhagavate / Narayana / For Your Love - New York No...

Mirrors.

I think I have written a little about this topic before on this blog but I have to do it again. I was reading this blog this morning. In it Christine was talking about some judgement coming her way because of her choices.

The thing is that when people are critical of our choices it is because for some reason we are mirroring back at them their issues. Judgement really has nothing to do with the person being judged. It has more to do with people doing the judging. People spend a lot of time looking at other people's lives to avoid looking at their own. Judgement becomes an addiction like any other. All are things people use to avoid looking at their own issues. Many people have another drink, get high, have sex with a stranger, go shopping or just look at everyone else's life in order to avoid looking at our own lives.

I personally refuse to have my feelings hurt by people who I don't know or who chose to live a different kind of life. We are all unique individuals who make different choices and that is ok. The world would be so boring if everyone was the same.

Come on everyone..join me...let's be nice to each other. Let's be accepting of everyone's differences. Diversity is a beautiful thing!!

xoxo

Horoscope

I love Rob Brezsny!! He does amazing horoscopes. This is mine for this week and I guess sort of the year as a whole. I love it. Check yours out!!



"A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve," mused 19th-century author Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Advice that wild could just as well have been dispensed by a feral saint living in a cave in the woods. And now I'm passing it on to you, Aries, just in time for the beginning of what may be your wildest year in a decade. In my astrological opinion, you are ready to be a connoisseur of mysteries that purify the mind and nurture the soul . . . a daredevil of the spirit in quest of seemingly impossible dreams . . . a fierce adept of the wisdom of uncertainty who's in love with unpredictable teachings.

Fun things I want to do in 2011.

I am adding another two words for 2011. Why would I only need to make one? I can have as many as I want. We all can. So I am adding LOVE and FUN! How do I plan on accomplishing these? Here are some ideas....

-more knitting
-make at least one quilt
-work on my hooping
-continue to do daily yoga
-move out of NY to a place that feels better to me
-continue to develop my own sense of style when it comes to what I wear and how I decorate my surroundings
-be happier with my body
-get out and meet more people
-develop this blog more so it has more style and looks more "me"
-make a more sustainable income for myself and start building more of a financial foundation that is totally authentic for myself
-improve all my relationships that need to be better and let those go that aren't and cannot be healed
-be more patient
-develop a stronger sense of inner calm

That is all I can think of for the moment. I am sure I will come up with more.

Trust.

I have noticed that a lot of people are talking about their words for 2011. That got me thinking about what I want my word for 2011 to be. Mine is trust. I am going to trust that I am exactly where I need to be. I will trust that I am enough. I trust that I will be supported and loved by the Universe as a whole. I am trusting that amazing things will happen this year.

What is your word?

Happy New Year!

I have an amazing feeling about this year! I don't make resolutions at this time of year too much. I try to live my life in the moment. I make resolutions on a daily basis, not on a yearly one. But.....that being said I do have a title for this year. It is THE YEAR OF BEING MYSELF, SAYING WHAT I THINK OR BELIEVE AND NOT CARING IF PEOPLE THINK I'M A FREAK.