My thoughts on blogging....

Obviously, I don't come here so often these days. I am just not that into it. My camera needs a new battery so I can't really put pics up now. I get bored when I write more topically but I feel self-conscious when I am more intimate with what I write. A few of my friends really pushed me to write it but unless my counter is off, they aren't even reading it. So anyway, for now, I write privately. Maybe that will change so I guess I will keep this up.

I am more of an "in person" type of person. I like to meet people and get to see them and feel their energy. I am trying to spend less time on the computer to begin with. I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life and where I want it to be headed. Here are some random thoughts.

-I can really see energetically right now the affects of NY on me. I feel like I have to constantly have my guard on. I run into so much anger and rudeness on a daily basis. I wish I could say that I run into peace and love every day but honestly, while I believe there is actually a huge amount of that in the world, there is a more limited amount here. I have been really conscious of sending love out to everyone, even the angry ones and to greet everyone with a smile. Sometimes it helps and sometimes I think it just makes them angrier. Oh well.

-I am at once super excited about yoga teacher training and at once scared to death. My body issues are coming up like crazy. I have huge feelings of not enough-ness. I am not skinny enough, strong enough physically, confident enough and on and on and on. I try to ignore those feelings and not live in them but it doesn't mean they aren't there and I think it is good to acknowledge those things sometimes. For now all I can do is a ton of yoga and hope I start feeling more prepared.

-I am feeling so frustrated lately about weight loss. It seems to slow. It is crazy. I am vegan and gluten free. I eat incredibly healthy. I exercise. I really should be a lot thinner and I am not. Yes, I am thinner than I was a couple years ago but seriously why does it have to be so slow? Ugh, there's that word should again.

-I hate cold weather.

-I really want some land and chickens, goats, angora rabbits, maybe a couple alpacas...I would actually even love to be able to rescue the occasional abused farm animal.

-I had a reading with my totally amazing astrologer a couple weeks ago. I am so happy that I am out of my transit of disengaging from everything. I have learned so much about who I am and what I really want. I am now in the stage of setting up structures in my life that will be there for a long time. That makes me so excited and trying really hard to be patient.

-Speaking of patience...I know a new relationship is coming soon. I keep having dreams about the same guy. I wonder if he is having dreams about me. That is a really hard one to be patient about. (this is one of those things I will stress about writing about on the internet) :)

-I am working on figuring out exactly what I want my work life to look like. I want it flexible and from home much of the time. Some words that come to mind when thinking about this....yoga, meditation, education, cooking, tinctures, herbs, helping families live closer to nature, occasional acupuncture, writing, knitting, sewing...that could go on and on but that's the idea.

-I have decided to totally unplug while at Kripalu for yoga teacher training. No computer at all. I am also thinking of no checking phone either. In an emergency people can call Kripalu or send me a letter. That just sounds so lovely to me. Maybe I will take my address book and a bunch of cards to send out to people. I will go all old fashioned. Ah, I love that thought.


Well, that's what's going on here. I am not sure when I will actually make it back