From the hearts of friends.

I got an email from a friend of mine the other day. One of my very wonderful friends, who I now live very far from. She said," i just love where your life heads and what clarity you have of just trusting where you are in life." This really made me think a lot. At first I thought that I must not be doing a very good job explaining where I am because I am not trusting it. Then I realized that she is right. She was picking up on something that I did not know about myself.

If I look at my life through the eyes of typical American values then we can say that I am a bit of a mess. I am 33. I have a really expensive education. I was in college straight though until I was 29. I can't decide where I want to live. I have a career that usually requires starting a business because there are very few salaried jobs. If I can't decide where to live then how am I to really put a ton of energy into starting a business? I sort of half ass it. I am good at what I do so I get some patients wherever I am but never enough to really support myself. So here I am living in my mom's basement, treating a few patients a week, cooking all the time, studying about food and shamanism, doing a trade with a shaman to learn from her and basically biding my time. Yeah, so not following the norm. My mom occasionally says things to me like, "when I was your age, I was married and had 2 kids." She was but she was horribly unhappy.

I am following what my spirit knows it needs to do right now. I am learning about parts of myself I have lost or never knew existed to begin with. I am birthing a new part of myself before I go out into the world again and help others in a whole different way than I ever knew was possible.

Truth be told, I do not even know exactly what I want out of life. I want to live in a place that feeds my soul. I want to have many wonderful friends and family around me. I want to be in a stable, loving, supportive relationship. I may want children but I feel like I really won't know that until I am with someone that I would want to have children with. I want to do work, the work that I know I am here to do but am not exactly sure exactly what that looks like.

So yes, I am trusting where I am in my life. I just didn't know it. I am giving myself time to really find out who I am all the way to the core. Then I can live my life in a very authentic way. I can then be happier than I can even imagine. I am pretty happy now too. I am learning to enjoy and see the beauty in the journey. It's not a bad place to be.

Too those of you who don't approve, I send you light and love and as politely as possible. ask you to buzz off.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my wonderful friend Christi for seeing this important part of me!